A little sugar helps the medicines of Life go down.
Motherhood

Motherhood

Becoming a Mom was a surprise and a joy... the journey to motherhood was one filled with laughter and tears. This weekly post is about the journey from infertility to adoption to finally becoming a Mom.

Motherhood
Weight loss

Weight Loss Journey

In September 2010,I began a transformation from a 300 lb couch potato working towards a goal of 150 lb health conscious fitness nut. This is about the journey focusing on past successes, fitness tips, healthy eating, and accountability.

Weight Loss
Frugality

Friendly Frugality

One Income in a Two Income world requires a transformation from Shop-a-holic to Frugaliesta. This requires a shift in mental focus on real needs versus wants and desires.

Frugality
Home Making

Homemaker

A home maker is a person whose main job is to take care of their own family home and children. This weekly post is about my transformation from Provider to Homemaker.

Homemaking
Blogging

Blogging

This post is about tools, techniques, and tips that I have found helpful on my blogging journey. I will also be high lighting various sites that I have found helpful along my journey.

Blogging
Cooking

Cooking

Trying to cook interesting and healthy meals that both my toddlers and my Husband will enjoy and eat is a daily challenge. Attempting new recipes and techniques is a monthly growth opportunity.

Cooking
Writing Challenges

Writing Challenges

Growing as a blogger requires growth as a writer. This weekly challenge is a way to improve both areas.

Writing Challenge
The Keys to Life

Key to LIFE

Postings of random thoughts, humor, and my attempt at deep philosophical issues.

Life

To be continued

  • Sunday, September 16
  • by
  • aSpoonfulOsugar
  • I am sorry that I have not been blogging  or responding to comments since last September.  My mother passed away in early Fall of last year and I have had a horribly rough time dealing with the loss.  I appreciate all of the prayers from family and friends that were aware of this situation.  I am just now trying to get back on with my life as I handled my grief by refocusing only on my family, dealing with her estate issues, and trying to figure out how I was going to handle not having her around every day (she lived next door to me).  Today, I finally read the comments that have accumulated since last year.... and I am sorry that I had not responded to them.  I am not sure that I will continue blogging as right now I don't have anything to say.  I will be making a decision when God gives me guidance on this as I am praying about it.  Please lift my family up in prayer as we continue to adjust to not having Mom with us.

    Thank you.  Samantha
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    Adoption is a Family Affair

  • Sunday, September 18
  • by
  • aSpoonfulOsugar
  • As you go through the infertility rollercoaster and then the adoption crazy train, sometimes you begin to feel like this is all about you as a childless couple desperately wanting to become parents.  But Adoption is really a family affair.  It impacts not just the prospective parents and the child to be adopted.  The immediate family of Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins are all impacted and affected by the adoption experience.

    We have been blessed with a family that is not only open and receptive to the adoption experience but because we went to such lengths to have children… care for our sons as the blessings from God that they are.  One of the needless worries that I had as a prospective adoptive mom was that our family would not be accepting of our adoptive child like they would be to a biological one.  This was one worry that I should have never considered as the reality is that my sons are adored by their older cousins, doted on by their Aunts and Uncles, and the apple of the eye of their Grandparents.

    We were blessed in our first adoption by our family as we did not have time to set up the nursery before we left for California.  When we came home… we had a wonderful surprise…Bill’s two sisters had painted our nursery with clouds over the ceiling and half way down the wall… and the pale green below that just like I had dreamed about.  And the rest of the family had set up the nursery furniture and even bought the pieces we didn’t have. And another family member had bought all the linens and clothing that we would need for the first six months.  He had a bigger wardrobe of clothes than his mom.  No baby could have had a more loving and warm welcome home.

    In our second adoption, we were blessed as part of our family was able to go to Kansas with us.  Bill’s parents drove their RV to Kansas and spent two weeks in an RV park taking care of Cole and keeping him entertained while Bill and I focused on Will in the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit).  And as I stayed in the  hospital at night with Will… I had one less worry as I knew that both Bill and Cole were being taken care of by my Mother-in-law.  I cannot even begin to tell you what a blessing it is to not have to worry about your child when you are in the hospital with their sibling.

    Adoption is a family affair… not just in that it creates a family but in that it impacts the entire family.  So if you are going through adoption, don’t forget that yes it is about you but it is also about the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, and the cousins as they have been eagerly waiting to meet their new family member.
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    Our adoptions in a nutshell

  • Sunday, September 11
  • by
  • aSpoonfulOsugar
  • One of the reasons, our adoptions were so quick is that both boys were premature... Cole's birth was 6 weeks after placement with birth mother and Will's birth was one week....  Cole was premature by 5 weeks and Will by 7 weeks.  That is one of the risks with private adoptions.  The other risk is the birth mother's in private adoptions are more likely to be older birth mothers (30 years and up) who have lived a high risk lifestyle... potentially drugs and alcohol.  The young birth mothers and couples giving up babies for adoptions tend to work with agencies... not private attorneys.  As they are few and far between and have their pick of the young well to do prospective adoptive parents.  Like I said earlier... most agencies (outside of VOA and a few church based agencies) won't work with an adoptive couple who are over 45 years of age for a newborn (or are getting close to that age as the agency process routinely takes three years or more).  Where as a facilitator, advocate, or private attorney will. But I would not use a facilitator if you are not willing to accept some risks... the impact of meth and alcohol on a baby are horrible... but the reality is that only a small percentage of the babies exposed to either drug have the horrible negative defects or diseases.

    In our case, both birthmothers stated that they had not used either meth or alcohol during the pregnancy. Both boys were tested upon birth at the hospital and both were negative to meth and any other drug.  In other words, if the birth mother did abuse during the pregnancy, God kept it from crossing the barrier to the baby and protected the our sons.  The potential medical issues are something that as an adoptive parent you have to make a decision before you go into the process that you are willing to take the risk on and know what your limits are… both Bill and I felt when each of our boys were presented to us that these were our sons and no matter what the medical situation, the Lord wanted us to be their parents.  A lot of prospective adoptive parent's are not willing to take the risk of these children and so their adoptions take longer. Each couple has to reach that decision themselves…what we were willing to accept is not what others may be able to accept…. And there is nothing wrong with that.
    We prayed about each child and received affirmation from God and were blessed with two healthy boys.  The issue with Will's head has to do with a 6'9" birth father and an underweight birth mother ... so Will was not able to turn around and got stuck in her pelvis region for the last five weeks that he was in the womb so his head was not rounded on one side it was more angular than it should have been.  And it is being corrected by a cranial helmet (another post on that subject at a later date) and is almost 100% corrected as I write this post.  But even if, our son’s had been born with negative medical conditions… God blessed us by giving us the joy of being parents, the joy of raising two boys to become Men of God, and the joy of going through all of the trials and tribulations that parenting is.  I am thankful for these gifts.

    Adoption is not a process that I would go into lightly or without much prayer.  But the moment you hold your child in your arms, you know that all of the heartache, tears, fears, worry, financial drain, and physical drain … it is all worth it. And your child is a part of your heart.  Please know that if you need an experienced ear to listen to or a shoulder to talk to... we are here and we've been there… and we are praying for all who consider adoption as the road to parenthood… it is a bumpy one but with God driving it can be smooth and glorious. 
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    Will’s Adoption Continues

  • Sunday, August 28
  • by
  • aSpoonfulOsugar
  • We had talked with our birthmother before we ever left for Kansas… but after meeting with her, we knew that she was one that we would enjoy working with. God confirmed our initial feelings when we prayed to Him about Will’s adoption.   This adoption was the easiest one of all... and the reason has to do with God being in control from day one. 

    The adoption in Kansas was different and quicker than either a California or Louisiana adoption. For one thing, the birth mother signs after 12 hours ... this means that you become the legal guardians at that point in time.  And she cannot change her mind as her rights are severed at that time.  And you get to take your baby home (unless you are from out of state… then you have to wait for the ICP which usually takes four business days depending upon your home state).
      We did insist that the paperwork not be presented to our birthmother until she had the drugs from the c-section out of her system as we felt that morally presenting them before she was of clear mind would not be right. 
    Another difference is that the adoption finalizes after 30 days.   This means that you have one more visit from the home study social worker during that time. And one more trip to Kansas for the court hearing.  This was an over night trip and took about 2 hours in court ( the drive was 11 plus hours due to baby Will not being able to be in the carrier for more than 2 hours without a 30 minute break... due to his head issues (as this was pre-cranial helmet and pre-full diagnoses as to what was wrong and we & our doctor was erring on the side of caution) ... and then we had   1 and 1/2  hours of waiting for our docket to be called and 30 minutes in court.   We did have to wait 2 to 4 days for the ICP but that is standard. (this was during the initial trip).  

    Also, we did not have the extra expense of a Louisiana Attorney.  The Kansas attorney handled everything. In the prior adoption, we had to have two Louisiana Attorneys and one California Attorney.   And we received the final birth certificate in 60 days. It was funny in that we had Will’s adoption finalized along with the birth certificate four months before we got Cole’s birth certificate from California.

    Overall, Kansas is very supportive of adoption and adoptive parents… I do have to say, that I feel the birth mother is not considered enough and a longer time than 12 hours and more counseling should be done.  One of difficulties of interstate adoptions is that you have to choose which State’s laws, the adoption will follow as there are No federal guidelines or Uniform Codes that cover adoptions.  This can be very confusing and the help of an accredited Adoption attorney is key to not violating anyone’s rights, any laws, or jeopardizing the finalization of your adoption.
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    Research… Research… Research… The World says “No” but God says “Yes”

  • Sunday, August 21
  • by
  • aSpoonfulOsugar
  • We did of course research (as we had learned the negatives of not researching in our first adoption experience) all of the information about the “supposed” medical situation.  It is a horrible condition for any child to be born with and I pray for parents that are loving children who have that cross to bear.  We talked with our friends in the medical field, read the doctor’s reports on the baby (remember we were dealing with a reputable facilitator and attorney… and they insisted that we have this information before we finalized our decision), and read all that we could find on the internet. 
    This was not an uninformed decision that we reached… but it came down to this…if our biological child was born with this condition, we would not even consider abortion… we would raise the baby that God chose to give us.  In this case, we both felt that God chose for Will to be our son no matter what medical condition he might have had.  Up to the day we physically took Will home from the hospital, well meaning people were still saying “you can back out of this if you want”… and Will did not even have the horrible medical situation that was originally expected.  

    All he has is a slightly angular skull that a lot of people never have corrected.  We are doubly blessed in that we are able to afford (with much scrimping and saving) to pay for his cranial helmet and less than eight months after he began the treatment… he is scheduled to be done and his skull issues will be a thing of the past.  It came down to a simple matter of obedience… God chose Will to be our son… if he had medical issues or not…God chose us to be his adoptive parents.  Once we discerned God’s will for this… then we had no other choice… Obedience is what God requests and what as Christians we are to do.
    Read More...

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